SAMANTHA

November 16-18, 2010 Tuesday-Thursday

Tuesday morning, while we were out someone left a message on our home answering machine. But we couldn’t understand what the person (couldn’t even tell if it was a man or a woman for sure) was saying. “It” left a phone number, but we couldn’t understand the first 4 numbers. Raphy (I found out I’ve been spelling his name wrong in previous writings) stopped by and we asked him to listen. He couldn’t tell who it was either.
After scripture class with Raphy and Dale that night the phone rang. I answered and a voice said very clearly, “Sister Porter, I called you earlier today.” I couldn’t recognize the voice so I asked who it was and she said she was Samantha. (Background: Samantha is an inactive aboriginal woman about 40 who has 4 children. All but one are grown and have kids of their own. We didn’t even meet her for a long time. Whenever we went to her house, her kids would say she was sleeping or not home although it was evident that she was there and telling them what to say. We finally met her when she was sitting out on her front porch smoking and talking on the phone. The small table she was sitting by had numerous alcohol cans and bottles. She seemed okay, but after that, we never knew if we would be greeted nicely or not. I think it depended on the amount of alcohol she’d had. She finally told us that she was moving to a new house because her neighbors were “racists” and complained about the noise when “her people” got together. She wouldn’t give us her address. I wrote about her a couple of weeks ago when she called to say she didn’t have any food and asked if we would bring her some bread when we did the “bread run.” We’d quit stopping there because she hadn’t acted like she even wanted any.)
So I apologized for not returning her call and explained why I hadn’t called back. She said she had been so upset in the morning and was going to “hurt herself” when she called because she wanted to talk to someone. Evidently, back in 2004 and 2005 she had been really good friends with the wives of the senior missionaries who were here. I offered to go over to see her and she said she was better because several friends had showed up but she wanted to see us Wednesday night after the bread run.
Last night we went over and sat on her back patio while she explained what a mess she’d made of her life over the past 5 years. She’d had an ectopic pregnancy in 2005 and started drinking and smoking after that. She’s gained a lot of weight, lost her driver’s license for 10 years, lost the respect of her children, hasn’t held down a job, stays in her house and feels like a failure. She told us she realizes what a mess she’s made and wants to change. We talked to her about needing to start doing things for others and praying. The day she’d been so down, she’d also had 3 phone calls from places where she’d put in job applications. We told her she needed to be the best employee she could be and do more than was asked. Evidently, before she’d started drinking, she’d been respected in the community and was active talking to women about spousal abuse, something she’d overcome. She asked us to be her mentors through all this and asked for a blessing from Orson. The blessing was incredible but laid it on the line that it was ALL up to her to make the changes. She was encouraged to pray, read the scriptures and serve others. You could tell the blessing made a big difference to her. We told her to get a paper and write down everything she could remember about it and that we’d be back today. I really had mixed feelings going into that meeting, but I left humbled by the love I felt for her after listening to her.
So we went back to see her this morning with 3 old Ensigns (she’d asked if we had some), a Book of Mormon (she hadn’t found hers since she moved), the steps of prayer, a card with Mosiah 2:17 written on it and a couple of other things. She told us a lady had been over earlier in the morning to get her registered for a course to become a Physician’s Assistant. She’d been in it when she had her ectopic pregnancy and then dropped out. It’s a special program offered to aborigines and only takes 18 months. It will be perfect for her to do; it doesn’t start until February. We assured her we would be in contact with her every day. She brought out the notebook where she’d written stuff about the blessing. Then she’d written a page about a bad choice she’d made later last night. She’d called her sister and asked her to take her to buy some cigarettes. The sister then stopped at someone’s house where a bunch of people were along with alcohol. She was given a drink, took 2 sips and then put it down and asked for water. (Hurray!) Her daughter was also there and Samantha heard her make a snide remark. She walked outside and waited until her sister came out and asked to be taken home. She was totally focusing on the bad decision she’d made. We helped her to see the good ones like not finishing her drink and then leaving rather than stay in the hostile environment. We talked about a lot of stuff and encouraged her to come to church Sunday. She felt she was too bad to come. We told her that “Church isn’t a rest home for Saints, but a hospital for sinners.” She’d never thought of it that way before. We assured her she could call us any time for help in avoiding temptations. Who knew we would be counseling too?
I love the YW! Three came tonight. In the opening prayer, Carolyn asked that we’d do a lot of Personal Progress. And we did. They were very content to work on it the whole time. We had promised them a game of Chickenfoot, so we played one game before we took them home. They are good girls; they just need someone to encourage along the way because they don’t get it at home or school. We were talking about qualities it takes to be a good mother. One asked, “Do you have to be married?” That led to some frank comments about the necessity of marriage and the goal of a temple marriage!